Maybe Not Such a Good Idea, OKKKK???

If you’ve been pregnant (or ARE pregnant), you’ve been there. You know what I’m talking about, don’t you? Standing there in your misery. Pleasantly plump. Elephant trunks were your ankles were YESTERDAY. A lovely baby boy/girl who you are so excited about mothering is bearing down constantly on your bladder… and some times excitedly kicking it swiftly causing you to pee all over yourself. Your arms are swollen. Your face is swollen. You’re having contractions. You have fluid coming from places… well, we all know about that misery. This is supposed to be an exciting and happy time, right?? You are determined to try to still be excited and happy with all of the physical ailments withstanding. And, then it happens. Some well-meaning (or not SO well-meaning) soul decides to impart some “wisdom” upon you and your current circumstances. This “wisdom” is not wise. It is not at all what should be said to a pregnant woman. And, if it were said by a childless woman (who had NEVER experienced this part of life), you could understand a tad more. No, no, no. Typically, it comes from a woman who just had a baby. Or, had one 10 years ago. Or, is a grandmother many times over. What? You say that you are only 10 weeks pregnant and haven’t heard this “wisdom” yet? ((Rubbing my hands together excitedly)) Have a seat, girlfriend. Let’s dish some dirt.

Some bits of wisdom that I’ve heard over 4 pregnancies:

1. What do you mean you ate a hot dog? Don’t you know that hot dogs can kill you and the baby through LYSTERIOSIS?????

2. Are you SURE you are having a boy? Sonograms are wrong a lot… Back when I was pregnant in 1950….

3. Man, you sure are carrying that baby really low. You are going to have him any day now.

4. You don’t need to be doing that.

5. Are you supposed to be lifting your 2-year-old???? You’ll hurt that baby you’re carrying.

6. Wow. You sure have put on a lot of weight during this pregnancy. That can’t be healthy. You do know that the baby will only weigh 8 – 9 lbs, right?

7. Are you SURE there aren’t twins in there? You’re awfully big…

8. You cleaned the bathroom????? Those chemicals aren’t good for the baby, you know…

9. You know, I walked around dilated 3 cm for 18 WEEKS (exaggerated much??) at the end of my pregnancy. You’re probably going to be late.

10. You’re HAVING AN EPIDURAL???????????????????? You do understand that you will end up with a C-SECTION because of that, right??????????????????????

11. Oh my gosh. You’re NOT having an epidural??? What is wrong with you? You do understand that labor hurts, right? And, if you don’t have an epidural, you may not relax and then you’ll end up with a C-SECTION!!!!!!!!!!!

12. …. I could go on. really. all.. day.. long..

So, what do you do when you are experiencing this “wisdom” being imparted? Well, friend, just smile and say, “Thank you.” And, walk away. You can also comment on here and add their “wisdom” to my list. We’ll both get a good laugh out of it. 🙂

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4 thoughts on “Maybe Not Such a Good Idea, OKKKK???

  1. *Don’t lift your arms above your head, it will flip the baby* Yep, true story, I was told that by someone.

    *Don’t you know what causes this situation (pregnancy)?* Umm, yes, as a matter of fact I do. My husband and I are very much aware that we are contemplating a third child. No need for you to look at us as if we are aliens. Just saying. Ma & Pa Walton sure would have congratulated us instead of looking at us like we were nuts.

    *”You do birth photography!?!?!? WHAT???????* Yes, this one is not completely relevant but it’s my newest pregnant complaint. People looking at me like I’ve lost my ever loving mind when I tell them that I willing photography a dear woman who is giving birth. No, I am not there to get a full on shot. I’m there to document one of the most miraculous days of this families life.

    I share this one because like most of the “pregnancy advice” you get from people, people all to often believe things that they pull out of thin air. No, my baby is not going to flip over because I raised my hands over my head. No, I am not having twins just because God chose for my stomach to be larger with this pregnancy. No, I am fully aware that millions of women deliver each and every year with epidurals that DID NOT lead them to the operating room for a c-section. Thank you again for your ridiculous advice, have a wonderful, contraction filled day. And for those of you that have never experienced a contraction… God bless your sweet soul.

  2. charlene carroll says:

    Lol I had someone aske me about twins lol bc I was big 🙂 I also had this sweet older man say to me (after I came back to work) “still haven’t had the baby yet?” SERIOUSLY!!!!! All I could do was laugh

  3. Jamie says:

    “Every first pregnancy ALWAYS ends up going past 40 weeks so no, I don’t think you will have him early.” Jerk. 😉

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