If you’ve been pregnant (or ARE pregnant), you’ve been there. You know what I’m talking about, don’t you? Standing there in your misery. Pleasantly plump. Elephant trunks were your ankles were YESTERDAY. A lovely baby boy/girl who you are so excited about mothering is bearing down constantly on your bladder… and some times excitedly kicking it swiftly causing you to pee all over yourself. Your arms are swollen. Your face is swollen. You’re having contractions. You have fluid coming from places… well, we all know about that misery. This is supposed to be an exciting and happy time, right?? You are determined to try to still be excited and happy with all of the physical ailments withstanding. And, then it happens. Some well-meaning (or not SO well-meaning) soul decides to impart some “wisdom” upon you and your current circumstances. This “wisdom” is not wise. It is not at all what should be said to a pregnant woman. And, if it were said by a childless woman (who had NEVER experienced this part of life), you could understand a tad more. No, no, no. Typically, it comes from a woman who just had a baby. Or, had one 10 years ago. Or, is a grandmother many times over. What? You say that you are only 10 weeks pregnant and haven’t heard this “wisdom” yet? ((Rubbing my hands together excitedly)) Have a seat, girlfriend. Let’s dish some dirt.
Some bits of wisdom that I’ve heard over 4 pregnancies:
1. What do you mean you ate a hot dog? Don’t you know that hot dogs can kill you and the baby through LYSTERIOSIS?????
2. Are you SURE you are having a boy? Sonograms are wrong a lot… Back when I was pregnant in 1950….
3. Man, you sure are carrying that baby really low. You are going to have him any day now.
4. You don’t need to be doing that.
5. Are you supposed to be lifting your 2-year-old???? You’ll hurt that baby you’re carrying.
6. Wow. You sure have put on a lot of weight during this pregnancy. That can’t be healthy. You do know that the baby will only weigh 8 – 9 lbs, right?
7. Are you SURE there aren’t twins in there? You’re awfully big…
8. You cleaned the bathroom????? Those chemicals aren’t good for the baby, you know…
9. You know, I walked around dilated 3 cm for 18 WEEKS (exaggerated much??) at the end of my pregnancy. You’re probably going to be late.
10. You’re HAVING AN EPIDURAL???????????????????? You do understand that you will end up with a C-SECTION because of that, right??????????????????????
11. Oh my gosh. You’re NOT having an epidural??? What is wrong with you? You do understand that labor hurts, right? And, if you don’t have an epidural, you may not relax and then you’ll end up with a C-SECTION!!!!!!!!!!!
12. …. I could go on. really. all.. day.. long..
So, what do you do when you are experiencing this “wisdom” being imparted? Well, friend, just smile and say, “Thank you.” And, walk away. You can also comment on here and add their “wisdom” to my list. We’ll both get a good laugh out of it. 🙂