I have a special child. He’s been special since before he was even born. He was the one who decided to start labor at 35 weeks 6 days. He was the one who decided to have respiratory distress. He was the one who decided to stay in the NICU for 5 days. He’s the one who has severe eczema.
He’s also the one who is emotionally charged. He doesn’t handle change well. He’s frequently found in our front hallway screaming and pitching a fit.
We’ve served the wrong meal again. He’s melting down.
His pants leg got wet. There he goes.
A sibling looks at a toy that might have been his two years ago in a dream. Hysterics.
The list can go on forever. We’ve found that, typically, the reason he’s melting down and throw a grand mal toddler fit is because he doesn’t understand what is happening to him. Someone has changed something away from the way he thought it should go and he just can’t deal.
What is frustrating as a parent is that we love him so much and would do almost anything to make him happy. We also would give our lives to make him safe. Sometimes, those two goals clash and we have to choose what’s best for him over what he views as pleasurable. Cue meltdown.
So, what if I told you that I have been that special child this week? I’ve walked around pitching a fit (even if only in my head) because things aren’t going the way I think they should. I have a list of needs that don’t seem to be being met. My life isn’t turning out exactly like I planned. What are you doing, God???
In our class tonight, we began learning the attributes of God (we are reading this book). One attribute we learned is that God is eternal. He sees the whole picture while we only see a small section of time. He knows the end from the beginning. He has a sovereign plan that will be accomplished. He’s said for us to trust Him.
It was pretty much a gut punch for me. I’ve been acting like my 4 year old and pitching a fit. All the while, God has a plan for caring for us. In abundance. I can’t describe the ways that God has provided today… there’s literally no rational reason for me to be concerned.
So… something else for me to work on. Trusting God more. Pitching less fits.
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After dinner snack when a lovely woman came to give us a gift: two small pieces of homemade chocolates. This put me over my daily food intake by a bit but… this is real life. Hopefully all my activity today helped burn some off.
Water: 116 oz.
Movement: almost 15,000 steps and 13 flights of stairs. It was a really good day movement wise. Feeling stronger every day and I can’t WAIT to be released by my doctor.